Bottomless Pit

Holy Crap-my 2 year old daughter has become a bottomless pit! She's constantly hungry! She even wakes up in the middle of the night hungry! What the heck? Then on top of that, shes a picky eater, so she ends up wasting half of everything I give her! Could there be something wrong with her? Or is this just a "growth spurt"? Crimeny! I'm going to have to give her up for adoption, cause I can't afford her food bill! LMAO-just kidding, geesh.

8 week post surgical update

Well, It's been a while since I updated, so here goes...

November 20, 2008-I had a middle body lift (belt lipectomy) This Thursday is the end of my 8th post surgical week. I am WAYYYYYYYYYYYY better then any other updates!!!! I do still swell if up too long, so I do need to lay down and rest periodically thru the day, but barely any pain. The only pain I'm in really is the occasional, twinge or burn, or pull if I move a wrong way. Most my resting is due to lack of stamina, or excess of swellig. I have to wear this "body shaper" thing (goes from my breast bone down to my knees!) for 6 weeks. The doctor was very happy at my Dec. 31 appt. I will go back February 11 for my "after" pictures. We had David's brother and family here before Christmas and then David's dad here for Christmas and after. I had so much activity and "hostessing" and events that I ended up laid up from Christmas afternoon and for the following 4 days! The kids really enjoyed thier visit with thier Papa, but I ended up in bed nearly his whole visit. LUCKILY, he's very understnading and I warned him before hand and he was completely understanding and empethetic! I have been able to do a lot more in the way of house keeping and taking care of the kids. Even though I don't like driving-I am now driivng again-as of Jan. 5. As of January 6th, I returned to teaching at church. I went to the YMCA for a bit tonight (for the first time since August!) while Benjamin was at Royal Rangers. I walked at a pace of 2 mph, on a 3 incline fo 20 minutes, then did 2 minutes of elliptical (ONLY 2 min!!!), then a few reps of back press, leg and arm presses. I attempted to do an AB press, but the first one seemed "too light" for me, so I upped the weight and realized it was too much, but contined to try, so a total of 3 and had to quit...I hurt myself a bit, so i gathered the kids and left (it was time to pick up Ben anyway). I'm going to try to make it to the gym every Tuesday (except next week as Ben has a presentation that night!) while Ben is at RR and every Wed. before church, even if just to "go" there, even if I don't take classes-to get in the routine and walk for a bit. I am definitly ready to get my energy and strength back. Also would like to get into a morning Y workout routine too, BUT, little at a time I guess. Heck I can't even get motivated to make it ot the driveway to get the morning paper yet! LOL. Anyway, I'm not "all better" or back to normal, but there was a definite change in week 6 and things are definitly on the positive road. I still wouldn't do it again, or recommend it, but I'm doing a lot better :) Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers and friends that have helped our family. More bragging on the family...David and the kids have been wonderful. I barely survived the holidays and could not have made it thru the last week of 2008 if it hadn't been for my awesome, wonderful, and super supportive husband. I was laid up for a few days after relatives left. So that's my recent update! I'll keep everyone posted.

Pajamas

For the last 8 weeks-since November 20 when I had my surgery-if I've worn clothes at all, it's mainly been pajamas/tshirts/sports bras and underwear. Now it's time to get back to real life. This week I have had to "get dressed for real" everyday. When I look in my closet for what I'm going to wear, I'm faced with a big dilemma!!! One side of my brain says, " I want to wear this big comfy frumpy sweatshirt (or something of that nature)". The other side says "I just spent $14,000 that I'm going to be paying onthe rest of my natural born life and spent 8 weeks with many more to go in complete misery-show off!" So, this week I have been paying close attention to what I've been wearing. I've been wearing shorter shirts that shows the "flat" of my tummy and don't cover up the zipper and butt. The shirts are tighter too, to show off the "flatness". These things are not my style! They are not comfortable! I don't feel I can lounge around in them. I come home and immediately STRIP and put on a PJs or big 3X shirt! Isn't wearing big comfy clothes associated with shame and wanting to cover things up and hide things? I don't want to hide things, but I do like big loose clothes?! UGH! So what's everyone's opinions? Do I sacrifice comfort for trying to look better? (David has certainly liked my "looking good" efforts-which makes me want to do it more-but-it's not comfortable!) Is it just something I need to get used too? Will I eventually feel this is my style? Will I eventually like the clothes? If that's the case, I think I could stick it out, I've done all this misery so far?! Or do I give up and say, hey this is me and wear the big oversized 1,2,3 X clothes on a size 6 body? Heck, it's nearly to the point that my drawstring on my sweats hang to my knees I have to pull them so tight to tie them to fit me. But they are so comfy!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what's really suprising? My pants and jeans-although they removed 5 lbs of skin-are the exact same size. Quite disappointing really! The difference is before they had a big bulge in tummy and now they're flat! So...what should I do?

Goals for 2009

Like most people, I have been thinkng of things I'd like to change about myself or life situation, in the new year. I haven't thought about them for a long time, and I don't really have a plan. I am not going to beat myself if I slip up either. All I can do is wake up every day and try to be intentional. It will be a daily goal, not a yearly goal. Here is my list, in no particular order:
1. Pay down debt and budget better
2. Attend the YMCA (which we pay an arm and a leg for each month and don't use!) and excercise at least 3 times a week.
3. Eat and drink healthier
4. Cook more/eat out less
5. Yell less/chill out
6. Develop a little bit more structure
7. Play with the kids more
8. Be less critical and negative/Be more positive
9. Smile and laugh more
10. Work on the marriage-learn David's love language and speak or do it more.
11. Clean and organize the basement
12. Get back to scrapbooking, take time for myself, take time to read and persue learning about things I am interested in.
13. Use my breathing machine
So, I hadn't counted til I typed it out, but that looks like a lucky 13! Some of these things aren't ready to happen right away. It will be a little bit before I'm ready to go back tot he YMCA and workout. I can walk and do a little bit of stuff, but I can't do the intense classes I had been involved in in early 2008! It would be nice though to put the kids in the kid zone and just walk on the treadmill for a while, alone or with a friend; or join friends for swimming. Also, some of them are already a work in progress; like the working on the marriage and taking time to learn about things I'm interested in and the "chilling out/yell less". I am hoping that by some things already being underway, and others not being ready yet, and that by waking up and being intentional every day, that my goals won't be hard to achieve nor seem so overwhelming. Wish me luck!

Not so great 2008

I have to say, I am looking very forward to 2009! I hate to say it, but 2008 SUCKED! Here is my recap and ending with 10 positives!
David returned home early from deployment in January, after having gotten in trouble and losing a stripe, which cost our family $800 a month in pay and benefits, plus a $500 fine on top of that and also put his career in jeopardy! This happened after I took the family in December with our exchange students on a very expensive trip to Chicago that I couldn't afford anyway, because I hadn't seen my family in three years and I was home sick! They tell you that it's hard to reintegrate after deployment, but this had been the hardest deployment and reintegration yet! In February, I came down very sick, and it lasted on and off til MAY! I thought I was going to die! To my recollection, I had never been so sick, let alone for so long, in my life! March, I ended up getting so fed up with our exchange student, Maialen, that we demanded the agency find her another home, after her having been in our home for 6 months! Luckily, this ended up being the best decision for our family and, I believe Carolina our other student, that could have ever been made. I just wish we'd have done it sooner! In March, David changed jobs within the Air Force and it's a job that is done at the home base, so he's no longer deploying. This has allowed him to take classes and he's working towards his AirFrame and Power Plant license. Carolina's year with us as over in June and she returned home to Brazil on June 5th. On June 7th, my life was turned upside down by the sudden, unexpected death of my father, at age 59. We took another expensive trip to Chicago, David drove us up and spent 10 days with us, drove home to continue working, and came back in July to get us. It is very painful to be so far from my family! David was allowed to reenlist in July! So he can finsih his 20 year military career and retire. David and I were having a lot of marital problems. This year has truely been a test for our marriage! We returned home July 6th and on July 8th, moved into base housing. (LOVE IT!!!!!) I then spent the summer working vigorously to get a daycare up and running. After lots of hours, traveling from house to house, keeping 2 houses clean, classes, interviewing, purchasing furniture, kids miserable, etc., we had to come to terms with the fact that we could not go on any longer. I was not getting clients! I needed 3 kids to make my mortgage and expenses and I only had one. On. October 15th, we were blessed to allow a close friend and her family, to move into and rent our house. So now we live in one place! The kids are happier, we are happier, we were able to help friends out, and we're not in jeopardy of losing our house! November 20th, I proceeded to go thru with my dream of having a middle body lift (AKA Belt Lipectomy). While I thought this was a good thing, I quickly came to learn that I was ending 2008 in compelete misery. I am still recovering and things are better now...but I don't look back on the last 8 weeks of 2008 as pleasant!
I would like to end my look back on 2008 on a positivie note. Great things that happened in 2008...
1. My sister Theresa came to Chicago for my dad's funeral. I had not seen her in several years. ALL 8 of my parents living children were together!
2. Base housing. The kids all have thier own bedroom and private space in our 4 bedroom house. It's on a caldesac and 10 ft. from our back gate is a park. The kids are so happy, and we are happy.
3. David was able to reenlist.
4. David took initiative to better himself and his career by enrolling in college classes.
5. David and I began working on our relationship. We are in marriage counseling and working on our communication. Things have been going really well. He is communicating more. He has also taken initiative to go to personal counseling. We are learning each other's "love languages", we are learning to ask people for help (friends, family, counselors, etc.), and we are learning to communicate.
6. This year, I have had to learn to ask for help. I've had to ask friends to babysit, so I could attend classes and counseling sessions. I've had to ask for help, give up my pride, and realize that I can't do everything and not everything can be done perfectly. I've had to ask for help with moving. I've had to ask the father in law for help with finances. I humble myself and accept the fact that while I've been laid up for 8 weeks, the house is still standing and it's not a pigsty!
7. I have learned that I have some great friends! Many people put together meals for our family, so David didn't have so much work while I was laid up. Many people have babysat for us. Many friends have called, emailed, prayed, etc.
8. The hardest surgery is done and over with!
9. This is David's first year home with the little kids for Christmas!!!! He's usually deployed Sept/October-Jan/Feb. While we've had a "boring" holiday...it's been a wonderful holiday full of memories!
10. Last but not least, I am going to brag on my family. My husband and kids have been phenominally amazing!!!!!!!!! The kids have been patient, and understanding. They have been concerned and compassionate, gentle and sweet. David has been taking initiative, compassionate, understanding, sweet and vigilent through my surgery and healing process.