What's Changed?

My friend messaged me yesterday (hope you don't get offended that you sparked a blog!), asking me what has changed and what has happened? She said I've seemed happier in the last couple days according to my status. I replied and explained that a lot has changed, so I thought I'd share.
First of all, David is recognizing and acknowledging that there is a "problem". Of course, that's always a first step. You can't change, what you don't acknowledge. Hell, I've known for a long time that there's something wrong with me!
Second, while I did have to make the appointments for him, David is going to this "Communications" class and he's now started counseling. He's actually replying to me when I talk, he's sharing his thoughts and feelings and he's taking more responsibility in the house and with the children.
Third, he's being very supportive and encouraging, which is something he's always been, don't get me wrong, but even more! He's told me that it's okay for me to spend weekends alone at the other house. He's helping me work on the other house. He's being supportive with the business. He's seeing that him being "my other kid" has been a huge burden and that I'm on the verge of cracking. He's seeing that I miss scrapbooking and really wanting to do everything possible to get me back to it.
Last, but not least, he's taking initiative. His excuse has always been...he's just not motivated, he keeps procrastinating. Well, this weekend he took initiative to get a babysitter (although she cancelled last minute and he scrambled for another-Thank you for the last minute sitting Steph!) and planned a "date" for our 10 year anniversary. Also, he took took initiative to clean the gutters. And, yesterday while I was at the commissary, instead of spending all of naptime playing PS2 with Ben, David mowed and edged the entire yard (even inside the fence!). Normally, these are the types of things I'd have to nag about for weeks and usually just end up doing on my own!
So, how long will this last? Granted, at the moment, it's lasted more then the usual "two days" or "week", but is it for real? Is it permanent? How long will it take for me to not be "leary". He always "changes" for a couple days and then it's back to same ole, same ole. However, he's never sincerely acknowledged the problems. Nothing's "changed" really in just a couple days, it's been over a couple weeks. I have to look on the positive side. I have to believe this is for real, for my own sanity. It will be a long process, I'm sure. David talked to his brother and he's been going through counseling and stuff for two years. He told David to expect to go from one extreme to the other and then eventually he'll find his balance. I don't feel patronized this time. I feel like David is acknowledging his withdrawl and wanting to work on it. He's wanting to reconnect. He's feeling the distance between us and realizing it's not just PMS or a phase.
So, that's my update. Hubby and I are working on things together, I am working on personal things, I'm trying to get my dream business going and get back to scrapping and I have started to go through stuff and purge and simplify. How can I not feel better, or seem lighter and happier?

Our 10 year anniversary

August 1, 1998 David and I got married. We've been married 10 years now (together 13). That's a big deal to me! We've had the occasional rough patch, and we're working through one right now, but we'll always stay together! No one in the world could put up with me like he does!
I am so impressed with my hubby today. David had the day off, cause he has to work the weekend. We went to the Sabin house, as I had to babysit Raeana. I mowed the lawn while David edged. Then while I was getting kids changed and down for a nap, David finished the lawn and started cleaning the gutters. Not only did he clean the gutters, but while I made dinner, he washed down the house and driveway too and now it looks all pretty. :) While he was working on the gutters, he called my friend Diana and got her to babysit on Sunday night and we're going out to dinner! How can we be having money trouble and afford to go out to dinner? We have a $25 gift card to TGI Fridays, that David got as a "Thank you gift" from one of the parents we coached for soccer! TGI Fridays is close to Diana's and the kids haven't seen her kids in a long time. He did it! He took initaitive! He planned something. This is one thing I've always said I've wanted! WOOHOO!
So we didn't do anything big for the big 10. Someday when we have our successful business and the kids are older, maybe we will. For us though, this was a good anniversary. Just being us. Being together as a family. I cooked dinner and all the kids ate, we ate together, the kids enjoyed playing in the water, they all helped with the yard, we even had the dogs with us.
Happy Anniversary David! I love you forever and always, no matter what! Thank you for spending the last 13 years of your life with me. Thank you for your love, children, devotion and being such a wonderful dad and provider.

Last weekend and week of July

This weekend wasn't too busy. I think we're so burned out from all the traveling, moving, doing, going, etc. that I just didn't do this weekend. David worked on the basement. He cleaned the "scrap area" and cleaned the rugs and Sunday he started on the office. The kids had Vacation Bible School (a one day 1p-7p thing) on Saturday. It was a Luau theme and they had a great time. Christianna even stayed! I worked on the garage and yard some, dabbled here and there. Saturday night I stayed at the Sabin osue and basically vegged. I did do a couple loads of laundry, did a load of dishes, but comparatively did nothing. I did go to the basement, totally intending to work on the office and freaked out and ran upstairs! I jsut said forget it, David can box it up and we'll deal with it later. Instead, I cleaned and sorted my "art closet" and rearranged "day care" area and did nitnoid stuff else where. Oh, I did scrub the full size bed frame and David got that together and set up, and I cleaned lamps and such too.
This coming weekend (Aug. 2 and 3) I would like David to finish the basement and I'll scrub walls and start putting it back together, so I can get boxes out of the living room and not have to worry about the kids getting into stuff if I let them watch TV, which is not often, BUT, it still would be nice to not have to worry the little bit I do.
So today we start a new week. The last week of July. Today is Christianna's 2nd bday!!!!!!! On one hand, she's growing up so fast, on the other, not fast enough! The thought of possibly being out of diapers in some near future is so thrilling to me! Yes, I'm going to do day care, and yes, some will probably have diapers, but they are not mine! Not mine to buy and not mine to change every morning and night. Christianna is "talking" more each day. You can literally have a conversation with her now it seems. She understands nearly everything you say and you can understand nearly everything she says and wants. She repeats everything!!!! She is starting to play nicely on her own. She loves baby dolls, playing "kitchen", baths, and kitties (pulling thier tail mostly).
Today is only Monday and it's already been busy. One appointment after the other and it doesn't seem like it's going to end anytime soon. August 5-8 I go for orientations, classes, certifications, etc. While exciting to nearly be there, I'm not looking forward to it, because then the entrance of August, means money trouble! I did not go apply for jobs this weekend like I intended too! Just no time. We started counseling also and so each of us have "individual" sessions, then we have "joint" sessions, then there's this Marriage fo Keeps calss and we have to meet once every two weeks with our "family support specialist" for that as well.
Ugh, speaking of this Marriage for Keeps thing...my friend Jennie was going to watch my kids on Monday nights. Well, now I've taken on having this little girl also. She's no trouble really, but it is an extra kid nad a "baby" at that. So, Jennie called me the day after I talked to her about it and told me she just couldn't do it. So, while I did have "babysitting" lined up, now I didn't! So, I called Stephanie, she couldn't do it always either. Crap, now what? I came up with the brilliant idea of having Stephanie's 13 year old babysit! She agreed, YEA!!!!! So, while I swore to myself that I would "never have a teenager babysit my kids", here I am having a teenager babysit my kids. David will leave work every Monday at 5pm, pick up Nikki, bring her here, I'll have the kids napped, changed and fed and we'll go to class! After class, David will take Nikki home on his way back to work. EEEEK! It will be here at the "day care house", which means everything is totally safe and really other then smelling for a stinky diaper and keeping an eye on the kids, there'snot much to do. Plus her parents and I are 5 minutes away and totally reachable on the phone at a moments notice. She's the oldest of 5, so I'm pretty sure all will be well. It'll be good experience for her, and if she likes it, once I get the day care up and running, maybe I'll hire her to come in a couple times a week for a couple hours and help me out.
I guess that's it for now. Kids are napping, so I better get dinner started and ready for when they wake up, so that all is done when Nikki gets here. I don't want her to have to worry about anything, or be stressed out on her first day.

Mexico

My sister, Julie, is married to a guy (Ernesto) who entered the United States, several times, illegally. He's been working on getting his citizenship for a long time. Well, while I was in Chicago in June, Ernesto got his papers telling him to report to the Mexican Consulate on August 12, 2008 at 645am (his birthday!!!). Part of the "punishiment" for entering the U.S. illegally is that he has to go back to Mexcio to get his citizenship. They could tell him that day that he can enter the U.S., or they could tell him he has to stay there for up to two years!
Julie and her 3 children are American. They are going with Ernesto to Mexico. Julie needs to keep insurance on the kids, so she's only going to go for a month, then she'll come back to work. She is leaving the girls (Annabelle 4, and Jimena 3) with Ernesto in Mexcio!!! She is bringing Lucas (8 months) home. She'll live with her best friend Suzie when she gets back to Chicago. This all seems very scary to me. Just to leave Mexico (I read the Mexcian laws and border stuff), she needs a detailed, notarized letter from Ernesto giving her permission. Even though she's his mother and has his birth certificate. Also, the girls know very little Mexican and the grandparents and family in Mexico, know absolutley zero English!!!! Ernesto is going to put the girls in school. In the mean time, all thier stuff is in storage. Julie's been working her butt off getting them packed and ready to go, passports, etc. She doesn't even feel like she's fully mourned dad's passing. She's not scared or nerveous at all, just overwhelmed at the moment. She's actually excited! UGH.
Anyway, the whole point of this blog and the reason I'm writing it today...Julie, Ernesto, Annabelle, Jimena, and Lucas leave today and head to Mexico!!! Julie and her kids are pretty much my mom's whole life and here is it just 6 weeks after losing dad, she's losing them too. I'm worried, scared, nerveous for mom, for Julie. UGH!!!!! I wish my mom would come here or I wish I could be there!!!

WOW!

Wow! It's been a long time since I've blogged! Believe me, I've missed it! It's been crazy, as usual, here! SO much has happened! We returned home from Chicago on July 6th. The car ride home was unusually pleasant, altho I must admit I was "medicated" most of the time. David and and I are coming up on 10 years married and I've been having "issues" with him. I say, I rather then we, cause unless I'm bitching, he sees nothing wrong. But that will be in a different blog I suppose. The point of that statement is, while I did miss David and his help and companionship, I really did enjoy the two week break from him. It was kinda sad to come home to reality. Plus, I felt really good about all the things I accomplished while in Chicago and it was hard to leave the "good feeling". I was coming home to chaos and moving and a diaster of a life.

We picked up our keys to the base house on July 8th. I set up the bathrooms and that's about it. I decided I wanted all new in this house, matching and complete sets! So I had to buy everything. July 9th, the packers came and started packing us up. I decided I wanted the Sabin house cleared out and I'd move back what I wanted and start fresh. July 10, the packers came back and packed more and the movers loaded and moved us. Everything to the basement!!!! I didn't want to see a single toy! The first night, I had all three kids' bedrooms completely put together and set up. We worked rigorously over the weekend and got "settled in". By Monday, I was offering boxes on freecycle.

So here it is July 25th, we've been pulling "double duty". Working at both houses. I've scrubbed so many walls and this past weekend David cleaned my upstairs carpet. This coming weekend David will do the basement. I've gotten all my scrapbook stuff boxed, so once the basement gets cleaned, I can "start over" downstairs. July 26th is "neighborhood cleanup" day and from 7am-noon there will be dumpsters in the neighborhood to get rid of bulk items. We're gonna do a major clean up. My dryer was delivered on July 18th and today my washer will be delivered. I'm going to go this weekend and apply a couple of places for a job. I need money bad! I have one little girl I'm babysitting, but it's a lot of hours for not much money. She's 19 months old, very well behaved, doesn't cry, easily entertained! I'm hoping to get the "middle room" of the Sabin house done soon. I want to do something cool, but haven't decided what that is yet. It's our "block" room. Anyone got suggestions?

David and I are enrolled in this "Communications" class for married couples. It's called "Marriage for Keeps" and it's giving you the tools for good communication and an emotionally safe relationship. It's been good so far and it's only been two classes. We're also going to a counselor, this Monday. We'll see what comes of it. Well, I guess that's a summary of everything going on here. I'll try to write more specifics on things at a later time.