Settling Down

Settling Down Current mood: optimistic Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Ever since we decided to give up the daycare, rent the house, and move forward with the body lift, I have had such a peace come over me. It is a sad thought that I am "giving up my dream" (temporarily), but I really think that it's for the best right now. The prospect of settling down has been just such a relief. Really I don't even want to finish out the month we have left in the house. I want it to be done and over with! I don't even want to be at the house anymore!
We gave away Sassy (white cat) and Butterscotch (beige dog) last weekend. They are doing very well in thier new homes! They are very loved as well. Sassy was pooping and peeing everywhere. It happened when Ashley had her, it happened at the Sabin house, and it happened here. I couldn't handle it anymore! Butterscotch needed owners that could spend more time with him. He was destroying the backyard and the fencing. Since he's been gone, we've been able to take Sky everywhere with us. We don't have to worry about the door not shutting fast enough. Butterscotch dashed out the door at every oppurtunity, jumped on people, chewed up toys cause he was mad, etc. Sky is sad, as he misses his friend that he's been with his whole 9 months of life, but he's perked up recently. He's enjoying being able to be with us more. Sky doesn't run off, stays in the yard and doesn't destroy the yard and toys, and doesn't jump.
Yesterday we had a busy day...Friday night we had an all night "lock in" at church, everyone was cranky and tired this morning as no one slept, or hardly slept. Then we came home and took naps and went to a marriage enrichiment activity. Through "Marriage for Keeps", they had a choclate and strawberries, couples massage event, with free child care!!!! We got hands on instruction from the top massage therapist in Wichita on doing massage! David never gets massage from me, cause I think it's hard, and not sure I do it right (and really I'm not much of a touchy lovey person, so it's not natural for me to do)...but, Sveda made it seem easy and it was nice and made me want to give massage more often! David was already wonderful at giving massage!!! He didn't need any instruction, but she did show him how to work on pressure points for carpel tunnel (which I have!) and facial massage...that was nice! After that event, we went to a birthday party. Then we went back to the Sabin house. I briefly straightened up and we left. We were all so tired and I just didn't want to be there!!!!!!! I told David I did not want to come back on Sunday (like we normally do).
Sunday (today), we are not leaving the base house! I know this sounds crazy, but cleaning and organizing really is calming and relaxing to me. Today I am going to work on the basement...sorting and organizing clothes. I am going to have a huge garage sale in mid-October and hopefully I will have gone thru toys and clothes to sell and give away. Living in the simplified, clean, organized house has been so nice!!!!
Speaking of Sunday...I'm not going to attend Douglas Ave. Church on Sunday's anymore. I will continue to teach Missionettes and Ben will continue to to attend Royal Rangers for the time being, but I'm done with that church. Two weeks ago, I was fustrated with my girls never bringing thier materials to class, not doing any work, etc. They have such potential and they don't want to put any effort into it. They don't even want to memorize the simplest of verses. Well, I told them if they didn't WANT to be there, don't come and waste thier time or mine. I would rather them stay home then give me attitude, grief and distract the ones that do want to be there, earn and learn. Now, this is something I've heard Dan and Rachel (other leaders) also tell thier students. Well one of the mom's (who for whatever reason hates me-I don't know what I did!!!!) got ticked off and went off on Rachel (my boss) in the parking lot, in public about me. She went on to say that I shouldn't be allowed to work with kids or be alone with kids!!!! How can I stay in a church that I know has problems with me, but won't tell me what they are, even though I've gone to people to ask them? How can I stay in a church where I know my reputation is tarnished, for reasons unknown to me? I can't! I can't stand the stares, whispers, etc. I don't know what's being said, I can only imagine and it kills me. So, I'm done. I love working with the Missionettes though. I think they are learning. I think they are paying attention. We're accomplishing things, etc. Ben adores Dan and his Royal Ranger group, I would really hate to pull him away from them.
Well, the next month is still lots more changes, clearing out the Sabin house, and completely moving over to base, Dr. appts., babysitting Rae, getting prepared for surgery, etc. I look forward to having some time to be settled and relaxed. Hopefully, the kids will adjust well and things will be better for them.