Good Children

Here's the scene set up: my two younger sisters live within one mile from my mom. One of my brothers lives a few miles and one of my brothers lives 1.5 hours away. Between the 5 of us, we have 11 children and there are two more on the way. Ten of the children are 4 and under (10 + Ben ROFLMBO). Since I've been here, mostly it's Julie and JoEllyn, with the pop in occasionally of John and James. My mom lives in a two bedroom apartment (with one bathroom! LOL) Needless to say, it crazy here. But I have to say, oh so fun! Most of the time, all the kids get along. John's one and only kid is a little meanie, so we need to keep a close eye when he's around, but he's a cute kid. Julie's oldest kid is occasionally bossy or mommyish, but that's to be expected of the "older" children. All of our parenting styles and life situations are very different. It's so fun to sit here and watch all the kids play together. Jimmy (James' oldest) and Annabelle (Julie's oldest) adore Ben and they all follow him around and want to do what he does, or watch him. It's like a daddy duck leading a line of baby ducks! HAHAHA. It's kinda nice having all the kids together, 'cause then they keep each other occupied and we don't have to pay much attention, HAHA...Julie comes home from work and naps on mom's couch. Well anyway, it's been so beautiful and fun. Yesterday, JoEllyn commented and I had to share...
"Wow Jennie, your kids are the best behaved, Damn you!"
WOOHOO! YEA KIDS! I think they are crazy and out of control, so just imagine what the rest are like! HAHAHA...Feeling quite proud of my children at the moment! They play nicely, share, aren't into the adult conversations, not fighting for toys or grandma's lap. Of course Benjamin has always been perfect, that's not changed, but I love that the other two were mainly what she was referring too! At the time of the comment, Ben was in grandma's office playing on the computer and 7 of the kids under 4 were playing in the living room with us adults on the couch and chairs. Proud momma dance here!!!

Project Complete

One of my goals for being here in Chicago was to help get my mom organized. The project I had in mind was dad's train room. Not only have I now completed the train room, I have also completed the storage area and car!!! Everything is cleared out, sorted, boxed, labeled and stored again. I feel so good about this. There is a lot more to do still, but at least it's a start and I feel victorious. My project this weekend is going thru clothes I got from my friend Jeremy and sorting and organizing them and distributing them to various siblings! I've barely made a dent in that! LOL. I think if I get nothing else done, I will feel validated and complete for this trip. But, don't get me wrong, I'm not stopping...I have lots more plans.

Trains!

My dad was an avid "N scale" train collector and hobbiest. The man was a genious! He built beautiful layouts. He carved mountains out of styrofoam. Man, I gotta look around and see if I can't find some pictures. LOL.
Anyway, I took on this project to completely clear out, sort, organize, box, label and stack all dad's train stuff. Wednesday Jun 18th, after 12 hours of steady work, it was completed! HOLY CRAP! There are now currently 12 various sized boxes stacked in mom's 2nd bedroom with various labels all over them. Plus there's a few boxes of other things, like all kinds of adaptors, computer stuff, CB stuff, two huge tool boxes of tools!
The next project is mom's storage room, which she says is mainly train stuff too. There's more? Crimeny!!!! Well, now that I've done the intial stuff, the rest should go more smoothly. The problem is now, I have no child care, so my ability to work revolves around kids' behaviour, mood and cooperation. They usually get sick when we come here and sure enough, yesterday Christianna came down with a runny nose and last night a cough. Today Shanndon started a runny nose, so they're cranky. Mom's been busy today getting some work she needs to get done today, and she's going to take my 3 kids to McDonald's playland with Julie and JoEllyn and thier kids!!!! It's rainy and chilly here. So, I'm off to get that started. Wish me luck! Oh, and pray for my mom's sanity as she handles my kids...EEEEEEK!!!!!

A week in Chicago

It's been over a week now. The first part of the week was crazy with travel, arrangements, family, chaos, etc.
Tuesday was a major recouperation day. I tore mom's house apart and cleaned top to bottom. Julie had off work. Julie, Me and JoEllyn all took our spouses and kids to the park. I approached mom Tuesday afternoon with an idea. See, everytime I'm here, mom says "I wish we had more time, we could do...", "I really need your help on this project.", etc. SO...quietly and gently, I sat her down and explained all my reasons for moving quickly and I would understand if she wasn't ready, etc. She agreed! My idea is to completely empty, sort, organize, box, and label dad's train room. This will be a big job, so David is taking my kids to Julie's in the morning and then they will all go to JoEllyn's in the evening (cause Julie works and JoEllyn babysits).
So, Wednesday morning, David took all the kids and to work I went. Mom had lots of phone calls to make...insurances, social security office, and that night she went to church. I did it...1AM, I finished the last bit of the train room. I feel so good, I'm hoping it will motivate me to work on my hobby room when I get home!
Thursday, my sister in law Carol had off of work. We mainly waited around all day for everyone's schedules to mesh. LOL. We ended up just cooking a big dinner. Carol and her kids came and just as they were leaving, JoEllyn and her kids came. That was cool. The kids got to play with seperate families of kids for a bit at a time, and everyone enjoyed a good meal. This is nice!
Friday I spent the day thinking about if I should go home with David or not. I have tons of reasons to stay and just a couple to go. David was very insistant that I stay. He knows it won't be possible for m to come back for a very long time! And, he wants me to help mom as much as possible. Plus, I think he wants a break from my bitching, LMAO. So, we're staying. We went to my Aunt Jill and cousin Corie's house in the evening. Man, the kids did well again! Played nicely with thier cousins, listened fairly well, enjoyed the animals. Luckily thier house is more child friendly then most, so it made it easier, but I was enjoying the not having to be on edge and yelling too.

The Burial

It's more expensive-$800 more! to bury on a Saturday, so the funeral director took dad back to their place and we were to met at the cemetary (Mount Auburn in Stickney, Illinois) at 1pm on Monday, June 16th. Francis and Amy had to leave Sunday, so it was just mom, Theresa, me, John, Julie, James and JoEllyn and spouses and children. We all followed mom to the cemetary. She took the longest way to get there, but there was a reason. We drove thru everywhere we grew up -LaGrange, Brookfield, Lyons and then on dad's bus route. We were stopped by a train and it didn't end with a caboose...just a grafitied white freight car that said "Islam sux" written in black. Now that was funny. I was pointing out to David and the kids, "hey that's the house we lived in..."; "there's the park..."; etc. When we finally met up with mom in person, she said her and Theresa were doing the same thing. Julie and JoEllyn went and got red heart mylar balloons with cardstock busses on them that said: "In memory of Francis W. Rupp Sr. 5-2-49 to 6-6-08" Mom spoke to us kids-can't even remember what she said! Then she said we could all speak if we want. I wanted to come up with some great words, some super sentiment, I wanted to articulate the thoughts and feelings I had, but alas...nothing. I did finally stand up and I said some such rambling like...don't lose each other. Don't judge, love each other for who and what each becomes. Dad's greatest joy in life was his family, let's keep it that way. Just because some of us are far away, don't lose that closeness, keep together, keep stong and I finished with my quote of the moment; "Family was everything to dad, and everyone was his family". James and Julie and JoEllyn also said something. No I don't remember what!!! John prayed and then the funeral director said a couple things and scripture, then it was over. We stepped back and watched them lower the casket into the ground. We tossed flowers in with him. The had balloons got all entangled, so we ended up just having to launch them in bunches. I tied a note to one and a drawing from Shanndon on another. One bunch of balloons got stuck up in this massive evergreen that was above dad's grave. Ernesto (Julie's husband), climbed into the tree to release them. Then the bulldozer came to dump the dirt to cover dad...Ernesto was twice as high as the bulldozer stood!!!!!! Mom was freaking out. He was determined tho! Crazy monkey! Of course, David and James were there encouraging him and egging him on! It was hilarious. The funeral direcor said he's been doing this 31 years and never had he seen a family release balloons at the gravesite, or climb trees! LMAO. Dad woulda been so proud! Theresa had to go to the airport then. All the rest of us met at Old Country Buffet for dinner.
So, that's it. It's over. Now what? I'm kinda shocked at myself, almost ashamed?! I have not cried through all this nearly as much as I thought I would, thought I should. Oh, I get teary eyed, nostaligc and reminisent, sad, etc. (Like when I typed hte above sentence about lowering my dad's casket). But, is that enough? Shouldn't I be sadder? I'm sad for me and my kids, sure. But, I'm happy. Dad's not suffering anymore! According to my beliefs and faith, he's in heaven in his mansion, playing in his own train room. How can you be sad about that? I'm sad for mom. I fear for mom! But, in a way, I'm relieved for mom. She was really having a hard time taking care of him. I'm not ready right now, but one day I'll write something telling about my feelings about my dad. I dunno what I could say differently than my sister said at the funeral, but, who knows. For now, I'm focused on getting mom together. I have an idea for a project, but not sure if it's too soon, etc. Time to get things in order!
Rest In Peace Daddy. I love you!

Father's Day

Sunday, June 15th, 2008
Our cell phone alarm went off at 730am. David rolled over and noticed the hotel clock was off. The power in the hotel had gone out. He took a shower in the dark. Me and the kids woke up and we all got ready to go to church. Ben was not happy about taking a shower in the dark and Shanndon threw a fit for nearly half an hour, cause he had to poop and didn't want to go in the dark!!! We started to pull out of the hotel parking lot and Ben asked what day it was. I stated "Sunday Ju-" I then realized it's Father's Day!!!!!! I then finished "Sunday June 15th, 2008-it's Father's day!" I completely forgot! The kids' cards were left at home in Wichita. I looked over at David and said, "Honey, I'm so sorry. I hope you know I didn't intend to forget about you today". I felt soooooooo bad. He knew. David's good like that. He's been so helpful and supportive on this trip and thru this difficult time. I dunno what I'd have done without him!
We get to mom's about 10am, expecting to go to church. Amy and her kids and Francis and Amy's best friend Stacie were here, apparently Uncle Dave told everyone he'd be over at 830am to say goodbye. He finally showed up and explained he'd overslept due to power being off at his hotel too, and that all the others were meeting at a restraunt for breakfast. My sister Julie wanted to go to church for Father's day, so mom called her to ask if she still wanted to go. She had gotten so plastered Saturday night, I don't think she cared at this point. We call up all the kids and head over to the restraunt our aunts and uncle were going to. Francis and Amy hadn't checked out of thier hotel yet, so we said goodbye to them and they left. Iowa roads were a mess and it was going to be a long drive back. :( We went to Blueberry Hill where the rest were eating, but it was jam packed and they'd already started eating...so we said goodbye to Uncle Dave again and headed to Denny's. Again, packed! Mom and Theresa suggested going to Magic Wok (Chinese), none of us kids wanted to go, we thought it would be appropriate for us kids to go to Dimitris where Katie (JoEllyn's best friend), Julie and JoEllyn work. So we called and reserved a table and headed there. Only had to wait 10 minutes once we got there, woohoo! Then, mom and Theresa showed up. Magic Wok was closed for the day. This was awesome. We were together as a family at the "family restraunt". After lunch David and the kids went to the hotel to nap, I came to mom's and visited with Aunt Kathy, Aunt Maggie and my cousin Rob and his wife. About 5pm, they left for the airport. The kids were awake, so I drove to get them and bring them back to mom's house. I then went to the laundry mat with Julie. While my clothes were washing, I cleaned out the car, then put clothes in the dryer. I then dropped Julie off at mom's house, picked up my family and went to visit a friend from high school-Stephanie. It was a nice visit. Then we came back to visit with mom and the kids more and back to the hotel.
Today was hard not having dad at the restraunt with us it's something they did every Sunday practically!!! Also, Christianna keeps saying "Where gampa? Where gampa?" I say, "In heaven". She says, "Aight" and walks away. I'm actually kinda glad we didn't go to church for Father's Day, cause then it would been a lot harder! More condolences, a father's day message, passing out father's day gifts, blah blah blah. I think I'd have gone nuts!!!!
I'm sorry I fogot..Happy Father's Day David!!!!!!!

Dad's funeral

Friday night was busy. Francis Jr., Amy and Theresa all arrived in town. All of dad's living 8 children (and most of the spouses) and 15 of his grandchildren were all together in a 2 bedroom apartment. For me and those that have children, it was a riot and really utter bliss. The children played so well together!!! BUT, it was loud, and chaotic!!! Francis and Theresa had a bit of a hard time, but they held up really well!!! It was soooooooooo beautiful!!! We got back to the hotel about 1230AM.
We set the alarm for 7AM, so that we had time to shower, get ready, get breakfast and get to the church on time. Getting ready was fairly uneventful. David took a shower, then Ben and I went to the lobby to eat. I brought food up for the little ones, who incidentally woke up shortly after Ben and I had left. I was hoping they'd sleep in. So they ate and I got my shower and got ready. The room was a mess from eating in it. Everything was okay tho. Then we got into the car and started to drive to the church. I started to have a panic attack, couldn't hardly breath and was holdng back the tears. David asked if I was okay and reached across and held my hand. As we pulled up to the corner of Plainfield Rd. and High Rd., I saw dad's hearse. That was terrible! I started to cry then.
10AM Saturday June 14, 2008, the funeral director was going to bring the casket to the church and needed men to take the casket into the church. We all met at 10am. I think this is the first time in my life, I have ever seen every peice of the family assemble at the same time and be ON TIME!!!! Mom's best friend Andy (and our brother John) has been with mom thru everything when I couldn't be, she's helped mom thru decisions and has just been here...when Andy came up to me, I lost it. I hugged her and cried and thanked her for being with mom. It's sad for me that I couldn't be here for mom, I couldn't help, so I'm glad she had someone. Andy even sat next to mom during the service.
We went in for the viewing. 1030AM was for family and close friends only, then they opened it up at 11AM to the public. This was hard. Ben was seeing his grandfather deceased. I felt so bad for him...and Andrew and Amanda too. Those 3 were hurting so bad! Ben took pictures!!! Here I was looking at my father. He looked good by the way! The neighbor had just on Monday shaved him-hair, ears, nose, eyebrows- and cleaned up his scruffiness! His tummy had "deflated?" He was wearing a Hawaian shirt. It was so him. John put together a slide show presentation of ALL kinds of pictures! It was beautiful. I kissed daddy and told him that it wasn't right that he wasn't here that he'd be so happy if he could see what was around him right now and that I really neeed one of his big hugs right now! He did look so peaceful tho. I know he's not suffering and he's happy. As Ben says, he's in his mansion that God prepared for him, with his own train room! I had a few friends come-Chrissy from Kentucky and Stephanie (she lives in town). It was so nice to have them there. They called him dad when we were younger. He was everyone's dad!!!!
Shortly after 12 noon the service started. There was standing room only and people on the stairs in the entry way. The church even manned a nursery for us, so most the kids were downstairs. My brother John and his "other dad" (family friend) Art, sang a duet, then Julie spoke. EVERYONE bawled with Julie speaking. She summed up his life, legacy, beliefs, heart, our childhood and adulthood, so beautifully. "Our father was NO prince charming, but his wife loved him!" LOL. My dad had the most horrible voice, but boy did he love to belt out a tune and rock out and just plain ole' sing!!!! My quote of the week has been: "Family was everything to him, and everyone was his family". There was another song, then dad's brother and sister spoke, Then another song and a short sermon, then we all sang, "How Great Thou Art" as a congregation and we were released for lunch.
My kids were starving. Shirleen Peterson grabbed two plates and I grabbed two plates and we rushed around to get the kids food. You know someone actually complained that I was suppose to be in line. I'm like dude...my kids have been here since 10AM, haven't eaten since 9AM and they're starving- service ran long, and it was 130pm before we got released! So I got them sat and eating in a back corner and then got in line for myself. David took the kids to the hotel for naps about 3pm while I stayed. I went to mom's house with Theresa and Mom about 530pm. It was nice to have quiet when we got back. Then everyone came over about 7/730pm.
About 930PM, I took my sister Amy and her best friend Stacie to meet up with the rest of the siblings and thier spouses at a bar. We went to Q Billiards and Sportsbar. I had 2 Long Iced Teas and called it a night. Francis, Julie and Ernesto, Amy and Stacie, James and his friend Danny, and Julie's friend Susie stayed. I gave Lee a ride home (JoEllyn and Carol are pregnant and the stayed at mom's house with thier kids, and David kept my kids at mom's house.) So we headed back to the hotel about 1230am.

Drive up to Chicago

We left Wichita Kansas at about 1pm on Wednesday. We headed up to Omaha Nebraska where one of my sister and brother's live. We had a nice drive, not to eventful, we took the non-toll route. We got in to Amy's about 7pm. When we got out of the car, you could barely breathe, it was so humid! The kids immediately noticed the "playground" that was in Amy's front yard! Until the storm started, they played outside. It was nice and being as they were cooped up for 6 hours-it was good for them. Amy cooked dinner! I totally expected like pizza rolls or something, no...she cooked hot dogs and brauwurst, different kinds, corn on the cob, and had pasta and potato salad with all the fixins. MMMMM, MMMMM! We ended up eating in Amy's basement due to the strong storms. Amy's new boyfriend was over. He was a weather guy in the military, so weather channel was on, my sister says that he watches the weather channel like it's porn! LMAO. The boyfriend is nice enough. He's retired military, 52 years old, very personable and talkative-unlike her ex-husband!!! But at the same time, maybe too talkative? Dude, I was talking with my sister and he's telling me HER stories and interrupting her, telling me things about my brother, yada yada. SHUT UP! LOL. I wanted to talk to my sister! She's gonna be mad when she reads this...check out her comments-that should be interesting! LOL.
Anyway, we left Thursday at 9am. We had to get gas and stop for breakfast. We stopped about 30 miles west of Amy's and they took forever! We were there 2 hours! That is ridiculous!!! So we didn't even get on the road then til after 11AM. There was a potty stop about 1230pm, and they had wireless interent, so David and I got out our laptops, well that took another hour. The kids ran around in the grass, picked flowers, pet dogs, etc. We ended up driving into storms in DesMoine and Davenport...can't see 2 feet in front of you, hail pinging on my sunroof, thunder and lightening, driving 30 MPH, UGH! The kids were so restless, cranky, annoyed, they just wanted out, but when they got out of the car, they only wanted to be held, not run around!!! I was at my wits end. I was happy to be coming to Chicago to finally be with my mom at this difficult time, and see my family, but it was taking forever and I was worried that there would be negativity, etc. 10 minutes away from mom's house and there is an incident with my kids and David misses the exit and we end up lost and way on the north side of Chicago!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had just past the "Midwest Rd." exit and ""Kingery Rd." should have been next. I mentioned this to David and then Shanndon started crying. Apparently, Shanndon hugged or touched Ben's leg, so Ben decided to put his 140 pound body and foot on his brother genitals!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I'm screaming at Ben, "you need to use your words, not your body, there's no reason to hurt your brother because he hugs your leg", smacked him and I turned around to find we're on the 294 N tollway! There is NOOOOOOOOO getting off this thing til you hit the airport!!! I called my mom's house, I'm on the phone with my brother who is on the interent trying to help give me directions, I'm flustered and pissed off, screaming at the top of my lungs. Finally we make it to the right area!
Five minutes before we pull up to mom''s house, both little one finally fall asleep (too late now!!!!) and Ben now realizes that grandpa won't be there when we get there and gets sad and upset! We finally made in to mom's at 10PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ben and Shanndon and Christianna hugged grandma. She was so happy to see them. Once I got my turn, I just grabbed her, sat on her lap and cried for about 10 minutes. About 1130pm/midnight, David and the kids went to the hotel and I stayed with mom at her house. We did some work; rearranged a couple pictures, cleaned and organized a bookshelf, rearranged furniture, vacuumed, mopped floors, then headed to bed about 4am. Friday, mom and I went to the airport to pick up dad's two sisters.
That's the beginning of our trip...sounds fun so far, eh?????? Will blog more later, gotta go get some work done right now.

Francis W. Rupp Sr. has passed away

At 345pm, on June 7th, I received a phone call from my mom. "I'm sorry I didn't prepare this better for you honey, I don't know how else to say it but to say it", she said. "What mom?" I said. "Your dad passed away" she said. "What?" I said. "Your dad passed away honey", she said. "NO! No he didn't! He was getting better! He was fine! What happened? When?" I said.

He had a form of gastric bypass a few weeks ago. It was a desperate measure to help him get better, he'd been in and out of the hospital every couple months for a while. We were told he'd have a 50/50 chance making it off the table, then 25% chance of making it thru the week. He did both those things, Even getting off the ventilator 2-3 days early. He was doing very well, was home, on the mend, etc.

The last couple days he's been lethargic and having a hard time sleeping. He was depressed, realizing how hard the life after gastric bypass was. He was not doing very well. This morning my mom checked on him and he was asleep, so she left him alone-thinking that he needed the sleep. Then a while later, 1030am, checked on him again and realized he was not asleep, he was in fact gone instead and had been for some time (approximately 3-4am accordng to the coroner). She didn't call anyone, as she was afraid once she called, she wouldn't have time alone with him again, so she stayed by his side. She finally called people. My brother was first as she couldn't handle all that needed to be done. He drove in from Indiana and went to tell the younger siblings. My mom called me.

I immediately started calling people to see what my options were. Stephanie is going to watch the dogs, Diana will come over every few days and check on the cats. I called red cross and David will be able to come with us, although I don't know for how long we'll go or he'll get to go. My mom has requested that I wait to come. Everyone else will have to return to work and there will be a big "let down" and need for me afterwards, so If I could spend more time afterwards, she needs me then. SOOO, tentatively at the moment the plan is...drive out Wednesday, arrive Thursday. The funeral will be Saturday (THE DAY BEFORE FATHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!!! UGH!) at Marion Hills Bible Church on Plainfield and High Rd. in Darien Illinois. We'll probably stay a week after that to help mom get settled down/in/whatever. Alright, so that's my news, just wanted to let everyone know why I'm not around. There's so much to do to prepare, then 2 weeks after I return home, we'll be moving (ya, I know, I'm behind in blogging, need to write more about that later!)

Perfect Day (almost)

Last week, Carol asked me if we had waterfalls in Kansas. I giggled, raised my eyebrows and said there's nothing in Kansas except wheat. LOL. She proceeded to tell me how they hang out at the waterfalls on weekends. She showed us pictures of her Brazilian waterfalls. They are beautiful. The only falls I can think of is Niagra Falls and that a several days drive from here! LOL. I've seen small trickels and small falls in the mountains, BUT, nothing like Niagra or what she was describing.
The next day in the newspaper- "Wichita Eagle"- was an article about waterfalls in Kansas. Seriously? This is craziness! Not only that there are waterfalls in Kansas, but the fact that it came out the day after talking about it! It was fate! We had to go! Not only for Carol, but us and the kids too. My kids have never seen waterfalls, and we've never been around Kansas much. The next day available on the calendar that we didn't have plans, or David didn't have to work was Sunday June 1st. So, it was on, a plan to spend the day at a waterfall in Kansas! Everyone was so excited! I was a little worried...surely they wouldn't measure up to Carol's Brazilian waterfalls. I was afraid she'd be left sad and longing for her Brazilian waterfalls and disappointed with the "Kansas waterfalls" and disappointed with me for trying. Why was I bothering?
Carol assured me that it was okay and it would be another adventure with us for her memories. Not only was it new for her to see waterfalls in the states and Kansas, but it was new for us too. She would get to see me and the kids experience waterfalls for the first time. She would get to spend the day with us a a family.
Sunday June 1st. It was raining in the morning. I was disappointed. I was sure our trip was going to be null and void. We went to church (for Carol's last time). After church, it was bright and sunny and hot. WOOHOO! We came home and packed up the car and ate lunch and about 2pm headed on our way to Elk Falls. East on 400 and South on 99. It was a scenic drive. Christianna fell asleep nearly right away, eventually so did Shanndon and Carol and Ben dozed for a bit too. I mainly read the Kansas fishing regulations booklet that I had picked up at Walmart the other day. Was reading about different fish, laws, daily possesion limits, etc. I did doze for a few minutes toward the end as well.
When we got thier, the kids' mouths dropped. They were so excited! This was going to be awesome! Before heading on the paths and exploring, Christianna needed a diaper change. David headed to the car to do that and I was headed to the car to grab sippy cups and bug spray. We ended up getting into a fight. All hell broke loose. I was not staying with him, we would go somewhere else and he could hitchhike his way home. David tried to grabbed my keys and as he's pulling on them, slicing up my fingers, I (instinctively yet REGRETFULLY) hit him in the face! The children were in the car and I have no idea who saw it, I'm sure Carol did, although she hasn't said anything! Ben was crying hysterically that we weren't going to see the falls. David started to bring up some things from years ago and with the possibilty of inappropriateness, I reminded him not to speak like that in front of the children. Although I was upset that David had now ruined the day in my mind by doing and saying such horrible things, I couldn't stand that Ben was so upset, so we stayed!
Other then that 15 minutes of violence, anger and pain, the day was wonderful. David and I ignored each other on a personal level, but we functioned as parents, smiled at the children, took pictures, played with the children. We explored the falls and trails. The kids took turns throwing sticks down the falls and watching where they went. We found shells with bodies in them and I showed Ben what a "living shell" was about. The kids collected empty shells. They even found a fossilized shell! Shanndon and Christianna climbed like monkeys (and bears according to Shanndon) up the side of the falls. There was another side of the falls that seemed calmer and it was shadier, we had seen people over there earlier adventuring farther out then we could in this area. So we decided to head up to the car, we'd eat dinner and go to the other side.
The other side was really not such a great idea. This looked like it was the "local hang out". There was lots of beer cans and garbage. By the time we got down there, there were other people there as well. Ben fell several times, one time was very severe where he smashed his head on the rocks! Shanndon was kicking his shoes over the falls and ended up losing one of his crocs in the river, which threw him into a full blown fit, since he wanted his croc back. We of course TRIED to explain to the 3 year old that like the sticks he'd thrown into the falls earlier, the shoe was now gone and down the river and that we would not be able to get it back. It was obviously now time to go. All 3 little children were crying and very upset for various reasons.
We had seen several lakes on the trip down so I spoke to David about maybe trying to find one and we could swim or fish. We couldn't find the one we were looking for in Moline, so we headed back north toward home. We figured we'd stop at Fall River State Park. Just north of Moline we found a turtle walking on the side of the road and we picked it up and brought it home. His name is now "Hydro" and he lives in a kids pool with lots of dirt, leaves, grass and this morning I put a small pond of water in there. The kids are thrilled! Anyway, we finally found Fall River.
The place we ended up was totally secluded, there was a river on one side and either a pond, or overflow, or whatever on the other side. We had a great time here. The kids climbed, threw rocks, fished, snacked, hiked. Christianna threw her shoes in the "other" body of water and Carol went to go save them and fell in. This was now her 2nd set of clothes, so she stayed wet the rest of the night. Her camera was in her pocket, so we're waiting for that to dry out and hopefully it still works!!! The shoes were saved though, silly girl-they're just shoes!!! About 8pm, Carol asked if we could start a fire. Everything was so rain drenched, that we didn't know if we could. Luckily I happened to have brought a bunch of newspaper and David just happened to have 2 small logs left over from our trip to the lake Saturday. So the kids went "stick hunting" and we got a fire going! We could now cook those hotdogs we brought (and brought all the fixins for) and we could roast the marshmellows for the S'mores we brought stuff for! We were going to leave, but once the fire was started, we stayed quite a while.
The night was awesome. We sat around the fire looking up at the stars. We saw formations and constellations we hadn't seen before. It was a sea of stars! We cooked and ate, it was the perfect temperature and no bugs out at this time. We had a perfect day! We saw lots of butterflies, listened to various bird songs, frogs, woodpecker, coyotes (which scared the kids!), we saw fish jump out of the water. There was hardly any crying here, the kids were entertained by throwing rocks into the river mostly, lol. David caught one fish for the day. It was so peaceful, serene, magical, beautiful. We left about 11pm. When we arrived home at 1245pm, we diapered and Pj'd the kids real quick and got everyone to bed, unloaded the necessities out of the car and I headed to bed. David skinned and cleaned his fish. It was so awesome!!!
The only thing wrong, other then that 15 minute fight, was that I wanted to connect with David, share kisses, hold hands, etc. and that didn't happen. He was and is very cold, distant. This is our never ending fight-lack of communication. He doesn't ever say anything, except a tiny snippet 4,6, or 10 years down the road! says he has no thoughts, opinions or emotions about anything. Where as I, am very emotional and thoughtfilled. I try and want to share everything with him. He doesn't care for it. So for now, we are parents, we are functioning as such and that's about it. I know people who live like this. They are together kind of-they are friends, they are parents, but that's about it. I used to think it was wierd, but no matter. Now I'm in that situation. It's very hard for me! I love my husband, I like my husband, I guess that's why it's so hard. If I didn't have the strong feelings for him, maybe it would be easier? Oh well, we had an almost perfect day! I came home feeling very blessed!