The Burial

It's more expensive-$800 more! to bury on a Saturday, so the funeral director took dad back to their place and we were to met at the cemetary (Mount Auburn in Stickney, Illinois) at 1pm on Monday, June 16th. Francis and Amy had to leave Sunday, so it was just mom, Theresa, me, John, Julie, James and JoEllyn and spouses and children. We all followed mom to the cemetary. She took the longest way to get there, but there was a reason. We drove thru everywhere we grew up -LaGrange, Brookfield, Lyons and then on dad's bus route. We were stopped by a train and it didn't end with a caboose...just a grafitied white freight car that said "Islam sux" written in black. Now that was funny. I was pointing out to David and the kids, "hey that's the house we lived in..."; "there's the park..."; etc. When we finally met up with mom in person, she said her and Theresa were doing the same thing. Julie and JoEllyn went and got red heart mylar balloons with cardstock busses on them that said: "In memory of Francis W. Rupp Sr. 5-2-49 to 6-6-08" Mom spoke to us kids-can't even remember what she said! Then she said we could all speak if we want. I wanted to come up with some great words, some super sentiment, I wanted to articulate the thoughts and feelings I had, but alas...nothing. I did finally stand up and I said some such rambling like...don't lose each other. Don't judge, love each other for who and what each becomes. Dad's greatest joy in life was his family, let's keep it that way. Just because some of us are far away, don't lose that closeness, keep together, keep stong and I finished with my quote of the moment; "Family was everything to dad, and everyone was his family". James and Julie and JoEllyn also said something. No I don't remember what!!! John prayed and then the funeral director said a couple things and scripture, then it was over. We stepped back and watched them lower the casket into the ground. We tossed flowers in with him. The had balloons got all entangled, so we ended up just having to launch them in bunches. I tied a note to one and a drawing from Shanndon on another. One bunch of balloons got stuck up in this massive evergreen that was above dad's grave. Ernesto (Julie's husband), climbed into the tree to release them. Then the bulldozer came to dump the dirt to cover dad...Ernesto was twice as high as the bulldozer stood!!!!!! Mom was freaking out. He was determined tho! Crazy monkey! Of course, David and James were there encouraging him and egging him on! It was hilarious. The funeral direcor said he's been doing this 31 years and never had he seen a family release balloons at the gravesite, or climb trees! LMAO. Dad woulda been so proud! Theresa had to go to the airport then. All the rest of us met at Old Country Buffet for dinner.
So, that's it. It's over. Now what? I'm kinda shocked at myself, almost ashamed?! I have not cried through all this nearly as much as I thought I would, thought I should. Oh, I get teary eyed, nostaligc and reminisent, sad, etc. (Like when I typed hte above sentence about lowering my dad's casket). But, is that enough? Shouldn't I be sadder? I'm sad for me and my kids, sure. But, I'm happy. Dad's not suffering anymore! According to my beliefs and faith, he's in heaven in his mansion, playing in his own train room. How can you be sad about that? I'm sad for mom. I fear for mom! But, in a way, I'm relieved for mom. She was really having a hard time taking care of him. I'm not ready right now, but one day I'll write something telling about my feelings about my dad. I dunno what I could say differently than my sister said at the funeral, but, who knows. For now, I'm focused on getting mom together. I have an idea for a project, but not sure if it's too soon, etc. Time to get things in order!
Rest In Peace Daddy. I love you!