Vegetable

December 26-I can barely move today. I woke up with a crick in the neck, I'm swollen and in pain. I literally spent 80% of the day in bed. While the kids napped, David and his dad went and picked up wood from a guy who cut down 100 trees on his property. I'm thinking once it seasons, next winter...we'll have firewood for our fire pit and to give Stephanie for the fireplace. She said Marc likes the fire place. David's chainsaw blade is dull, so dad took David to the hardware store and bought him a file and a couple other things he saw we needed around the house. I apologized to dad for being so reclusive and locked up in my room. He competely understood. I had warned him several times before he came, so he knew. What we didn't know is just how hard Chris and Bonnies visit and my being up so much would take on me! Dad and David played with the kids, it was 60 degrees! David cleaned out the car, they went for a walk with the dog, played at the park, etc. Certainly wore the kids out!
December 27-Paul left at 5am, he has a 12 hour drive to Austin Texas. We said our goodbyes the night before, he didn't want to bother us. I still can't move today. Not as swollen but a bit and in lots of pain. Neck can't move. I've done muscle relaxer, pain med, heating pad, massage. Nothings working. Today I spent probably 90-95% of the day in bed.
December 28-Slept with heating pad on my neck. No help. Stll can't move my neck. More swollen today then yesterday. Still can't move my neck. I got the kids lunch while David was out running errands and I was in so much pain. I wanted to clean house and put away Christmas, but I don't think that's gonna happen. I have come to the conclusion that I don't care! David goes back to work tonight 10pm-7am, then he'll have to sleep all day and I won't be able to be in my bedroom, so I have all week to work on the house!

Christmas 08

Merry Christmas all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today was awesome! I woke up early and I had stressed all last night and this morning that we didn't have anything to give dad (except flavored coffees). I thought I'd be up and about by now, I had plans to make him a Tshirt with the grandkids names on it, or scraobook something, etc. BUT, I am not driving, so I didn't make it to Michael's for a tshirt, nor did I make it to church for my fabric paints and my scrap area is not really accessible. I took the pic of dad and David and Chris and found a great frame in a digital program I had and printed it up, I went downstairs to find a frame for it. I got the frame and then was sifting thru some supplies and found this little square notebook that I thought mabe I could use for something. I came up with this awesome idea...I made a "notebook" out of this little book, decorated the front, I wrote a little note on the inside of the cover and then filed it with poems, sayings, and "We love you because..." for dad and grandpas. I then had Ben write "Papa, I love you" in his hand writing on one page and put Ben's name, age and date on it. And, on the last page, put a small pic of each of his grandkids (all taken within the last couple months!) Okay, so the kids were very patient thru all this...they were fed breakfast, played with papa and daddy, etc. 11AM, I am finally done and ready to open presents.
Ben got a full guitar and kit that he wanted from Papa-also a remote control car, puzzles, Yatzee game and few other things. Shanndon got a DarthVader helmet case full of 63 Star Wars figurines-from when David was little that Dad found in his storage area-also a play guitar, FisherPrice race track, bath foam and other things. Christianna got "Bella Ballerina", it has a ballerina bar, mat, and DVD for Papa-she also got a baby doll, stuffed animal, foam bath and other things. Dad cried over my presets for him. He said this was the best Christmas he's had in 25 years! WOOHOO! Chris called and phhed and ahhed over thier presents (Discovery Toys and Mary Kay), they were very grateful and excited and impressed! WOOHOO!!! I like making people happy!!!! We then ate a simple lunch-sandwhiches.
I am dead today. The last 4 days has taken a huge toll on me! I am barely functioning. I am in terrible pain!!! The kids played the rest of the day so nicely with all thier new toys. David made a chicken in the Rotisserie, augratin potatoes and steamed brocoli and dad made biscuits for dinner. I literally laid down the rest of the day, except coming out for dinner and then later in the evening I came out and played one game of Yatzee. Luckily the kids come in my room all the time to share thier toys with me and play wth me. or I probably wouldn't have seen them much today.
Merry Christmas all!!!!! May you be abundantly blessed with peace, joy and love. Be sure to relax and sit back and enjoy the magic of the season.

Christmas Eve Events

Santa Claus is coming to town! The kids are excited. They made and wrapped up thier cookies for Santa and put out the "reindeer chow" in the lawn (in a dog food bowl!). David's dad had never heard of this "tradition" and thought it was cool and took pics! Paul (David's dad) played with the kids all evening, and read Christmas books. We ate meat and cheese, fruit, and a gingerbread house for snack before bed. I was sooooooo swollen and sore by this time. I've been upright for 3 days with barely any rest. I was cleaning the table and I had bad pain in my abdomin and bad swelling. I called David and told him what was going on and he said to go lay down, that he'd finish cleaning up the kitchen and playroom. Not only did he clean up, he wrapped the remainder of the presents too!!!!!!!! By the time David finished everything and we were ready to go to sleep, it was about 130am, Then we ended up talking about the emotional days' events! We ended up not going to bed til 4am!!!!

Healing and Reconcilitation

While David was making breakfast, Chris and I sat in the living room chatting and drinking our coffee. He started talking about wanting to be closer and now that we're "only" 6 hours apart, they want to see us more and raise the cousins together and get beyond "superficial talk". I explained to him that this made me nerveous since he seems to cut everyone out of his life that he doesn't agree with. He then explained how being astranged from dad was different. I said, alright, you want to know how I really feel? You annoyed me yesterday. I told him how I felt about the "dictatorship" he had pulled the day before. He apologized and we talked about how he could have stated things different and I could have said I was in pain and had stuff to do, yada yada. He had no problem taking Christianna and had I expressed it, he knew there was room for all 3 kids in his car and could have told me that. We had a nice conversation and it was relieving.
Dad called at 1045am, saying he was an hour away. He left Melanie's house at 5am! Chris was still needing a shower and in his PJs. We were still in the middle of a lot of talking about issues. He wasn't ready to leave yet! He asked us how we'd feel if he decided to stay. The fact that there could be "confrontation" in our home. I explained that while I'd be nerveous, it was exciting and hopeful that there might be a hug involved. David was nerveous too. Chris got his shower and packed up and ready to go. Dad called and he was at the gate. I vacuumed the house and straightened up. I got out meat and cheese and cakes for lunch and set the table up nicely. David took the kids to get dad.
Wow, Dad walked in and was suprised to see Chris. There was a hug! He was so happy. Dad started making small talk, asking about pics of the kids, we sat at the table and started eating. Chris just out of the blue got in on dad, saying "ya, we can make superficial talk, but I want to go beyond that", so he started talking to dad about his issues. After a while he asked to go to the living room since his back was hurting. We sat til 4pm talking!!!!!!!!!! There is reconcilitation and healing in the air!!! I took a pic of dad with his two sons as Chris was getting ready to leave. Dad was just in heaven! Chris left about 5pm.

Tuesday December 23, 2008

Chris and David arrived home about 130am, we all went to bed about 2am. Chris wakes up this morning and comes in and announces to me that he and David are going to take the boys out and wash his car and get a windshield wiper. David woke up a it later, he had no idea. He suggested taking Christianna with, but I didn't think all 3 kids would fit in Chris' little car. Then he suggested we all go with our van too, but, I was really hurting and didn't want to leave the house. So, then later they were talking about this errand they were going to run and Chris asks about other "things" to do in town..."we have all afteroon right?" he asks. UH...NO! I was up all day Sunday and Monday and I'm hurting. While Christianna is napping, instead of laying down to recover, I'll have to get into the basement to find gifts for the family and get dinner started. I got attitude with David, I was annoyed that he let Chris think they had all afternoon, and wasn't considering that I've been up hosting his family and caring for the kids alone for the last 3 days. He said, "no we'll just run errands and make it quick". I said, "yeah right". (David just follows around and goes with whatever anyone tells him). Sure enough...they did the sight seeing and visiting David's work. I fought with Christianna for a long time to nap, so I didn't get to rest or anything. One she got to sleep, I went to the basement. I got back upstairs and laid everything out and supplies for wrapping, started dinner, and then the guys got home about 10 minutes later. David got the extras together for dinner and I laid down. After dinner we hung out watching TV and chatting, playing with the kids, debating politics, etc. It was a nice visit. So weird to have someone in the house with an opinion and views and thoughts! Chris is in bed by 10pm at home, so we all went to bed early. His plan is to leave after lunch on Christmas Eve, so he'll be home with the family. David's dad, Paul, is visiting his ex-stepdaughter (David's ex-stepsister) in Dallas and is planning to be here after lunch time. Chris and Dad are astranged, so they'll literally pass each other in the wind. So sad. It would be nice if Chris stayed and gave Dad a hug. But alas, he's not ready.
Other then the little annoyance over Chris just deciding and doing, it was a nice visit. David has really enjoyed spending time with his brother. And it's nice to see Chris appreciating his brother and seeing waht a great dad he is. Chris and Bonnie are very strict, scheduled people and we AREN'T! While our lifestyle drives them nuts, but they have said they see things they can learn from us. Also, we found out that they have, after 7 years of questioning us, not approving, etc...are in fact, going to HOMESCHOOL thier children!!! And they will have lots of questions and need advice...I'm not sure I'm the one they need to ask or if I qualify as the "expert", but I will try to find out info they need and want, none the less. We'll see how that goes!

December 22, 2008

David's brother-Chris- and his family and David woke up at 6am. They packed up, loaded up with coffee and headed on the road. By the time they got thier big moving van, with thier car attached to a trailer behind it, manuvered out of our culdesac, it was about 7am, they got on the road. They ended up having to take the car off the trailer and driving it seperately to a straight street and reattaching it. They drove down to Ft. Worth Texas, got the keys for the house (my brother in law i going to seminary school-he's going to be a preacher-and they are moving to campus housing). David and Chris unloaded the truck, then they all went out to dinner and then Chris and David drove back up to Wichita. They got home about 130am.
I was left alone with the kids. It went well. The kids were sad that their cousins weren't here even though we told them they were leaving, but they understood after a while. Having Ben home was a great relief, he's a big help. The kids have been great with me being laid up (although I've been up about 75% of the day, yesterday and today). They cuddle with me, bring me books to read, play in my clean laundry pile at the foot of my bed and watch a lot of TV. LOL Chris and Bonnie's kids trashed the house(basement, bedrooms and playroom!!!!) I ended up feeling really good in the night, so I deep cleaned the house after the little ones went to bed. I was up when the guys got home and we were al in bed by 2am.

5 week post surgical update

Well it's now been 5 weeks since surgery. I went to the Dr. last Wednesday and my next appt. is Dec. 31. Things are going well in the healing department according to the DR. I now have this "body shaper" thing to wear 24/7 (except showering) and it's horrible (what else is new-everything is horrible at this point!). It's this undergarment that goes from my knees to my chest bone to "hold me together". Dude I can't breath in this thing. I'm suppose to wear it for 6 weeks. I haven't been wearing it at night because it suffocates me tho and I've literally hyperventilatled! There is still lots of swelling, but not enough to render him excavating it with a needle, so that was a good thing. Everyday I get better and faster moving. I'm trying to do what I can. The pain from David crashing us into a curb is gone, so that's a plus. Hives are gone...another plus. I am hoping that by the 8 week mark, I am truly "back to normal", although at this point I can't imagine it. Different "pains" and sensations come up each day or so. I've told David that this was the worst decision I've ever made in my life and that I don't know if I can go thru with the other surgeries. He's been very supportive and encouraging...saying that this was a big one and it'll be better once I look back and how the others aren't as bad...but in the moment...that's how I feel. I've told the people that "envy me" or are saying I'm lucky and want to do it for themselves...Don't do it! Take it for what it's worth from the patient only 5 weeks out, but...I think had I REALLY known what it would take and cost and the pain I'm in...I'd have kept the dang skin!!!!!!!!!!!! At 5 weeks, it doesn't feel worth it. I'll keep you updated on if that changes! LOL You think you "know what to expect" before hand-I've seen the TV shows, I've done the research. I knew this was the worst thing I'd ever go thru, I thought I could handle it...I was wrong! I'm a wuss! David has been so supportive and patient and dilligent. The kids have been amazing! I am a one proud wife and momma!!!!

My brother in law (Chris) and sister in law (Bonnie) and thier kids are moving from Montana to Texas. They were suppose to get here Saturday afternoon and leave Sunday afternoon. They were going to take Ben and David to Texas with them to help them move. Plans changed. They did about 25 MPH all thru Montana as they hit bad weather and then the next day hit rush hour in Denver. On Sunday...5 miles from our house...they were driving down Kellogg and a car right in front of them doing 70 MPH crashed into a pole and exploded, killing 3 people. That was it, they couldn't go on any longer. Bonnie was hysterical...the 3 kids saw it happen as well. They pulled a charred burning body out into the street in front of them! Chris brought the two little ones that were in the van with him, to our house and picked up David and then went back to get Sam and Bonnie who were driving the UHAUL. David ended up driving the van back here with Sam, while Chris and Bonnie stayed all afternoon answering questions and dealing with "trauma counselors". They spent the night and left this morning. David and Chris will go to FT. Worth and sign for thier house, get keys and unload the truck and drive back home tonight or tomorrow morning. Bonnie will stay and take the kids to her parents. Chris will stay here til Wednesday afternoon (Christmas Eve) and head home in time for Christmas Eve dinner. Ben is staying home with me. :( poor guy. Chris and the kids (and maybe Bonnie) will come back up about Jan. 2 for a couple days before Chris' school starts. Now that they're only 6 hours away, we'll be able to see them more. Craziness here!

Thank you all for such love, support, kind words and prayers and thoughts. They are so appreciated! I can't even express how truly grateful I am for everything!

2 weeks post surgery

Well, I went to my 2 week check up. Everything looks good. He took out 1 of the 4 drains. The drains are annoying and are killing me. It's a lot for me to get out and around, so I ended up resting the rest of the day. Thursday I woke up and found that my left tummy drain had come unstitched and called the DR. They said just to baby it. Also all day Thursday I was having pain in my right tummy, that didn't relieve at all, so I called the Dr and Stephanie (to babysit) and David took me in. 1 of 3 things could be wrong...1 I could have "over done it" (in my opinion not likely, but i suppose it's possible since I did go on a screaming rampage Wednesday night about the disgusting state of the house and tried to do stuff Thursday morning), 2 The fluid that would have drained in the one they took out was trying to work itself to other drains and therefore "pulling" on healed tissue which caused pain, or 3 pulled a stitch inside me (nothing they can do about it without reopening me! ) So, Thursday and Friday I was on strict bedrest. Saturday we got out of the house and did a couple small things, one of which was grocery shopping (with me in a wheel chair) and I came home and slept Saturday to Sunday night. I am often still in a lot of pain, I am trying to take as little pain medication as possible. Moving around very slowly. Very uncomfortable and just "itchy and twitchy" I sleep A LOT!!!!!!!!! It's all part of the process, but just wanted to let everyone know what's going on here.

Sunday night David got a call from work...one boss is away for conferences and one coworker ended up hospitalized Friday with Ecoli and is still there with a "deflated" lung. He needs to come back to work on day shift. HUH? I'm sleeping 24/7 and David needs to go back to work?! crap!!! So, we talked about it. David said he'd do all clean up: dishes, laundry, wiping, etc when he gets home and get dinner each night! David will have to leave work to take me to Dr. appt on Wednesday and Thursday. So we'll see how this goes!!!!

My next Dr. appt is 915 on Wednesday-please pray I get my drains out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!